Forty Years in the Desert - A Booth, Harvey We Want a Booth!

Booth and or Table

Maybe it was why the Jewish people were in the desert for so long, they really were waiting for a booth.

I kid but I kind of don’t. My mom would have been waiting for a booth, and never a table and g-d forbid

never at the counter, “What are we in a Jersey Diner, please Harvey are you out of your ever licking

effing mind, we will wait for the booth!” A table, what are you at the drags ??????? my mom would be

speaking in foreign tongues that spoke of my dad’s possible transgressions or deviations no matter the

sense or non-sense that were committed in the past.

My dad, me, anyone that we were with, my mom just glowing back to me with her rosy cheeks, and he

just did hair do. I can’t forget to mention that my dad would always call it out for what he saw it as

“Old Lady Plastic Garbage Bag for your Head.”

my dad was not the most couth of individuals, now you know where I got it, well at least some of it, but

that is many stories that I could write.

Anyhow what was I saying. Oy vey waiting for the booth. It always seemed it was the time when my

dad and or me and or Renee and all 3 of us waited to damn long to eat. I remember I had a moment

was I was travelling for work in a different life where a migraine was percolating, and I had some very

color comments to a fellow traveler at the time. You know they have the snickers commercial when

they say you are not yourself when you are hungry. Yeah, that I so true it hurts at times.

Okay, so my dad now showing his angst by hanging on the door opener splines that come from the little

square that is attached to the top, I remind him that he could possibly break it, my dad was done with

his fuse, he was thermonuclear now, That is what I effing want to do Bart. Okay, just saying,um mom

your husband wants to rip the door off, can we still consider a table please. “ I am begging now to keep

this from becoming more a of shit show that it already is. (I can’t have nice things and I can’t take you

nowhere ethoses in my head coming on at the same time.

My dad back to my mom“Come the ef on Roz, why, why, why, why, we can just get a table now and do

the booth thing another time?”

My mom goes “Harvey a table???!!!????!!!? Like that was the ultimate insult to her everything that she

every believed, hoped, wished and thought of what holy- now you know where I get my drama lol

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WHAT ARE WE

DOING HERE!”

“It is not a damn Rudy’s restaurant and you

getting an effing Hotdog!!!!!”

If there was one thing they could do and did a lot, trade jibs back and forth, there was no holding your

tongue because the other might get their feelings hurt with Harv and Roz.

My mom next comeback always put my dad back in line by pulling at his heart strings. “I want to this to

be nice and want it to be special.”

Meanwhile my sister and I being teenagers were getting along splendidly as said with as thick sarcasm as

the fog would lie on any given San Francisco Morning at the Old Golden Gate Bridge.

She was telling me not to hit her, I was telling her not to bother me, she asked, and we repeatedly asked

me to stop breathing so loud. And folks, she really meant it, not that she did not attempt to kill me at

times while my mom would be so upset as to respond in kind to Renee.

“Take your brother outside if you want to kill him, I am talking on the phone to your Aunt in New

York.”

We used to watch old Brue Lee Chuck Norris movies, but my sister was not exactly a tactical artist, more

like I am going to kick you in your balls and hard as I can and then I am going to put my elbow in your

back, you know just for fun.”

Thanks, Renee for that, I really needed the play by play, little did I know is there when the narcissism

might have started, nope could have been, how silly of me.

Me having heard that responded back, well barely due to prior pummeling after she found out I used to

fetch her bear for her and my dad ratting on me with why I did it, I used to beat the hell out of the bear

as I took it down the stairs.

My dad loved telling Renee that as he smiled ear from ear when he saw my reaction as ‘shit my pant’s

my ass is going to get beat again.’ My dad responded with a hearty laugh, to proud of his betrayal of

what I thought was HIS BUDDY. In the back of my mind ef you homer, I am going to hide in your closet

later and we will see who laughs the loudest and the last.

Why Migraines You Make Ask?!?!?!?

Just like the issue with Migraines due to the fact my dad got us both boxing gloves because he boxed

when he grew up. Great dad did your sister out weight you, out height you and out mad as hell you as

well. Nope, no head issues here while getting pounded in the head and my dad advising me to fight

back. Thanks dad, I was not to hit girls, but Renee can pummel me as she does.

One time she had made him mad and moved Homer right the hell out of the way out of her way, that

was the day that I found out that it was my destiny to get my ass beat when and if anyone got into a

fight, I was always going to be on the one getting spanked unfortunately.

Oh, back to the table and or booth juxtaposition of all the Bergs Living. Finally, we sit down and then my

mom goes to ask about a substitution right before she has even looked through the whole menu. Me

and my sister sit down, kicking and pushing and doing what we did best, hate on each other for

everything and anything.

My dad response to my mom’s not even got a damn cup of coffee yet server atmosphere, “Really Roz,

with the effing substitutions. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Man, do something different and no substitutions. I

have not even gotten a damn cup of coffee.!!!!!!!” My mom would then purse her lips and we would

see the infamous and widely shown but not imitated actually until now as I think about it, the LIPS with

the slight smile and the start of the browsing for whatever they don’t have and asking the most

improbably and possibly never to be even thought of in a enigma of an iota of any culinary realm,

possibly in this galaxy and in a gazillion parsecs away. It was going to happen, something is definitely

percolating in what we used to kid her about her LEVEL 8 Biohazard Chemically induced hair due. Wait

reminds me of story when I got a perm, wait whatwasIsayingblog

No joke, one time my mom missed her hair appointment and my dad did her frosting of her hair. I don’t

know what was funnier, my mom reprimanding my dad or my dad bitching in retort back to my mom

about how the ef he ended up being lucky enough, thick with SARCASM, to be the one to do it. I do

recall one time my sister threatening her to stop complaining or she was going to have me do it lol. Now

that would have been interesting, but it has to be like latch hook, and I am not too proud to say, the one

Batman one I did, I quite highly enjoyed it. (I DID LATCHHOOK AND I LOVED IT )

Ah another night out, what fun anyone would not want to witness let alone actively participate. Hell,

when we were getting along almost too well, we had the whole Tommy’s steak restaurant completely

staring at us.

Loud The Bergs – NEVER Lol

Loud, I guess you could say loud, we all stopped and said everyone was looking at us as we were that

loud, then we just laughed our assess off and continued. My dad was like they were just jealous we are

how we are.

Yeah, that was why we were stared at, jealousy, sure old man, are you now drinking the lacquer thinner

and forgetting that it actually goes in the sprayer, I looked at him not knowing what or how much is

still there, hell as the country song goes

“We Are All Here, Because We Are All Not

There, right, who is with me, besides the

voices in my head, I am just kidding lol =P

They are mostly a silent majority lol”

Tipping Not the Best

I used to always tell the people that would wait on us that my parents are horrible tippers, but I will

make sure you get tipped well, it was the least I could do. If one damn thing, we were not the average

crowd when it came to family and always entertaining to say the least. My mom with her food being

cold and them sending it back, man that was something that I could never get used to….but hell I used

to eat SpaghettiOs out of a can cold, wait scratch that used to, it is present as well. Oh well.

If We Are Done, You Better Get the Check

I can’t tell you how many times my dad would say “Where the hell is our server with the check, where in

the hell did they go?” Yes, I learned for the best you could say or really the shortest fuse ever that was

constantly displaying what I was going to do and need therapy for in the not so far off future. Like I

said good times.

I have many a time looked here and there for the server that has vanished as well as left because service

was nonexistent and or others were getting waited on after sitting on prior.

Path to Nowhere with Free Useless Dribble Included – Act Now and We Will Double the Offer

I have to be honest I completely forgot the reason why I wrote this, but it did feel good, and something

definitely inspired it, oh yeah the image of my dad a grown man hanging from the door opener thing

attempting, no joke trying to break it……….that brings me to thinking of another time,

waitwhatwasIsaying lol