How A Jewish Person - Almost Failed of All Things, HEBREW =-o

How does it come to this, how does someone that is Jewish, understands Hebrew and even participated in not only a Bar-mitzvah but a twinning with Benjermin Berenfeld that was not able to due to constraints in Russia at the time, be failing Hebrew???????????

Well, let us go back to way before I was in college, way before high school actually and take you back to my first year in Hebrew School. Oh, I still recall the book that tormented me all the years that I was in Hebrew School. It was thick and small, and it was Pink, Pepto Bismol pink as I now can recall, and that was probably for good reasoning.

My ability to understand Foreign Languages, including my own was nill. There was just something about me and foreign languages did not go match up to be great dance partners and or to be honest any partnering with ever in my life. Mrs. Keriogi was her name and had a very domineering presence in the class, but hey I was only 10 at the time.

Oh that pink book, the start of my constant and ever losing struggle to grasp even the smallest iota of language comprehension. G-d I so hated the book I hate even trying to recall how much I hated that book lol. That is a hell of a lot of resentment when it is 40 years removed lol. The only thing worse than memorization was attempting the translation.

What I did not know it was not just Hebrew, but it was also Spanish, French, whatever the eff foreign and I guess my ethnic language, I was a brilliant failure. My questioning of how can one be jewish and do all that I have done and when it comes on my Senior Year in Collegge and do or die time, I completely leave my teacher at the time for Hebrew 104, Rakefet Benghazi – she was a grad student, native isreali, a really very cool down to earth person.

I remember he hair thick with light browning locks bouncing up and down on her head accentuating the uncomprehendable fact that I was not only failing Hebrew 104, but why in the hell you have even passed to Hebrew 101 to get to 102.

Okay lets us go back to highschool for a little while to further explain my trails and no tribulations while attempting to learn a language other than English. I took Spanish and my Spanish name was Pedro, and I think I survived with a C- and I thought that I over achieved because of the facts that were completely evident not too long ago.

Okay, Spanish is done and then we had to do French. I shit you not, my teacher watched me cheating using my duck books with all the writing on them and she said, even watched you cheating and you still failed the quiz.

Am I in trouble for cheating, she was like you at least if you cheated, you should have passed. I was like my mom is a teacher and she is not going to be happy. She was like you can do it over just don’t cheat this time and I did and I still failed. She was like Pierre my French name, what are we going to do with you. I said, maybe extra credit to pass. I had a slight crush on her, as many male students had, she was very curvy and was very charismatic and we lost concentration at times if you get my drift.

Okay so I am onto college, now I pick Spanish, not only do I fail Spanish I ended up having nightmares way past when I graduated from college itself. Like I said foreign languages are my thing that I hate more than walking on a small sliver of glass that was broke too many years ago to remember. But you knew of that there was always the possibility of it happening no matter what you do and how many times you vacuum and run your fingers slowly through the pile, it was going to be and you could not stop it.

Okay, so at Ohio State University, yeah I am that old prior to the 20 Million Spent to make it The Ohio State University, meh whatever, Anywhoo, the foreign language building, g-d I hated this building as anything could even hate a place was called Coonts Hall or something like that. And I still remember the dredded steps that I had to take to find out if I passed or not.

The teacher was grading us on a curve, because for some reason, we were very hard to get through in terms of testability and the likelihood of actually making it more average in scale than it was less than as such. I can remember walking into her office, the sky was damp outside, it was the end of spring and the rain was constantly there.

She was like
“You failed so bad, that if I grade you on the curve, you would still have a 59 or 60.” I was like mother effer, I will never get out of this for language crap and be able to graduate in Liberal Arts and Sciences with my BA. I felt so sick, I knew that after failing Spanish 102, which is second year Spanish I would have to go back to the one that I loathed to an extent I still might get a nightmare or two during the year about.

Hebrew. I was like come on, you have to be able to recall your Hebrew that you had for 4 years way back when. I was like yeah, that is the ticket to remove me from the Foreign Language hell that I was lving.

The first year went pretty okay, the 2nd years no so much, I was able to scrape buy in the the 3rd year by some unknown reason and there I was with the right of me. Then it was the hardest year of my college experience as well as the last of 4 courses for my chosen for language which was Hebrew.

You should have never passed 102, 103 and be here. I was like g-d I k now that is the truth, but what can I do now. She continued you mix up your French with Spanish with Hebrew, who the hell does that with the vitriol demeanor that accompanied her put her hands up and then threw the hair as if she has never saw someone this effed up in her still burgeoning career of for language.

She put her glasses up to her forehead and rubbed her eyes “Okeva, my Hebrew name, what in the hell can I do, this is such, I don’t want to swear but huge megillah. Her berating causing me significant discomfort, she was like you know Jenny Schwartz, and I was like yeah, she is my neighbor.

Well, it so happened that she was earning straight “A”’s in the same class. Divine intervention, you tell me of all 20,000 students at the time and the person that was kicking ass and the most astute in Hebrew was her. Also I had a slight crush on her, but I many crushes then, so who really knows what was going on in my head at the time.

Anyhow, I was able to pass due to the correction of all my mistakes on my former tests courtesy of her assistance. Thank g-d, I never thought I would ever feel the elective of 4 years of Foreign Language till the day I died.