Come Snow Fly - Don't Be That Girl or Guy

I could not find any pictures of Honda Civic in Snow that I would not have to look thru all my photos, so I give you the first day I got the Yakima Ladder, I mean roof racks =) 

This was done prior to me moving.  

As I woke up today and checked the temperature at Buckeye Lake it said 32 degrees. This get me to think about driving in the snow, and folks, if any relation to be made how people here drive in the rain. I am so no looking forward to it. Sad but very, hesitant and uh oh holy camollies true.

Sorry to say, people are learning how to drive from others that really don’t know themselves how to drive. I am just going to be honest. At this time and age, I would not be any better, being all the social media and the like, what would anyone really need a way to get around. You basically have every single social structure that in the past you would have had to pursue at their fingertips.

We needed that piece of lamination and we would dream about the FANTASITICALLY FREEDOM it would give us. 

1. No More Waiting at the Mall to have someone pick you up.
2. No More Waiting at the Movies to have someone pick you up. 

And of course, if you had a car to use, you could driver yourself to and from Highschool. Unless you had a sister that like to leave without you, you know why, just Because Renee and I called her Nay Nay like to mess with little Kee, that is me Kevin.

Not only that but you CRUISE on Friday and Saturday night and be able to roam free.

Not to mention you could go on a date all on your own, no chaperone, no be back before whatever, even though you knew when it was too late to come back you did it anyway, because you were young and would take the lecture for an extra hour that you knew you should have stayed out.

(All the Drag racing and shenanigans will have to wait for another story =) Don't you worry, I might have gotten old, but I do remember what we did =)

(All the Drag racing and shenanigans will have to wait for another story =) Don't you worry, I might have gotten old, but I do remember what we did uo get what is already there now, very much passee for those that have a any kind of phone in all honesty.

Way Before Phones – You Know When People Actually Had (GASP long and hard here) Actual Real Conversations

But wait a second, I first have to recognize that getting your license when you are 16 after you get permits at 15 and half of something like that., is not really something, do the connected world we live is something that kids nowadays would be a waiting with bated breath as I did grow up. 

Hell, we are talking over 35 years ago. Just about for some that think we used our feet that long ago. 

Being that I am an old ‘fart.’ Yes, I said it, I have been around long enough where the cars on the road had more steel on them then, well you would probably have to take at least one SUV and then a sedan to equal what was. So let us take a walk down the old memory lane, or what was the best of my memory prior to all the things that I went through since then……but I digress as I what was I saying.

I am going to break this down into Sections, g-d knows I have to do to keep with obscure thought process. We will have different cars that I have experienced and how I learned or found out as they said when you ef around........ As the kids said today.

78 Pontiac Bonneville

I have to admit that it took me time to become confident in driving in all weather conditions, But, unlike many, I started in a car that was like a tank, 78 Pontiac Bonneville, yeah, the same one I made the poem about. Responsive, not so much, but could you do things that look like donuts. 

I am going to explain when “donuts” means to those that don’t know. Basically, throw out the rear end and allow it to slide around and around, hence you make circular pattern in the snow. Sort of like looking like a donut.

What I learned in that car was it had Posi traction, so when one wheel would spin the other wheel would take up for it. 

This car was real wheel drive, which also gave you more respect of when the back end would slide out. As well I had sometimes to get used to it when it would break not so easily when you are going way too fast coming back from working at Sears Hardware on a weekday or weekend night, listening to Gun N Roses too loud with a 400 Watt completely static increasing amp…Did I mention in the rain.

Okay so I was not really that safe with that car, but back to the snow.

When you really think about it, is it in the most of public safety’s great interest not to be someone that would just get a Driver’s License at the same time as they are living their lives basically on a virtually reality world. 

If they have that confused with "what is" and "what is not real" and what they experience during the two conceptualizations, eek g-d help us all.

But with that being said, if they take to it like a videogame, it will not be the experience that they think they are going to get, you know with endless lives, do overs and the live through the crashes. I know this might sound someone that is an extreme in the negative, but when I went to TMC, our instructions before we were on the simulator (Which made me nauseous, but that is a story in itself)

The instructor of the class and the Overall Program director gave the caveat before we used the simulator was the following

What was very uncanny was that he reminded me of so much of my boss John C at Conway, it was striking and comforting at the same time. Man if they could have been brothers from another mother as they say....anywhooo.......

“THIS IS NOT A CONTEST TO CRASH AND DRIVE OVER EVERYTHING! YOU ARE BEING WATCHED AND SCORED AND THIS WILL BE PART OF THE OVERALL PROCESS."

The last class thought they could do anything and anything they definitely DID DO. Please do not misunderstand and attempt to better someone else with amount of destruction you can do.

“You are going to be, g-d I don’t know, behind a 80 ton vehicle if and when you pass orientation. This is real folks, not an effing game. Act like the professionals that you will have to be.”

Major Peeves That We All See

So, we will have people that have taught others to do the

1) break checking,

2) the swerving into lanes,

3) the turn signals that are on for all eternity,

4) the people that wait until just about the second coming to go left on green. ( I unfortunately did not even look and it almost cost me my arm, once again another story for another time) I know all extremes.

But when you think about all the construction in and around Columbus currently. Basically, everywhere and then some, the traffic that will only get worse with the what Umpteen 3 million or more peeps and Peepettes coming into our little places we call home. Is not thinking the worst, not exactly the worst to think about (or is that being too over dramatic and call it a day Thespian your are not Kevin lol. )

My commute right now is one and half hours. I have no problem with that, I love where I live, and you know I got it by being complete financially I guess you could say irresponsible, but as of everything I do, and or break and say when I mess up something.

“I DIDN’T DO IT ON PURPOSE!”

But back to what I was saying. So, I am going to throw in the snow, icy conditions, the people that ride brakes when it is even nice out and lets not forget those that break when getting on the highway and those that do the same when they want to get over and forget that turn signal thing that is so new to many.

When I was saying in my past article, going the speed limit was very entertaining, it is going to be taken up an IMAX NOTCH and then some when it comes to what all will witness. So, back to the Bonneville,

It taught me how to drive when it was bad out. One time I did happen to almost take out the garage door a few times, it had an issue with stalling at times when it was cold. As my dad used to say, so it stalls at times. I was like dad, it stalled in gear and almost took out the garage door.

His Classic Response to observations as such as there

“Well, at least now you know!”(thanks there Homer as I called him, you are going to be really happy when I go through the garage door I muttered under my breath because that was not the response that I was awaiting.)

But I digress, I can still remember not making the yellow left hand turn on Central Avenue to pick up one or the other with either Neil or Laurie in the car when I was carpooling and how desperately not only late, we were but also how close we got to being wiped out as well as being late. Late was one thing, tragically losing your life is well…. just that

So, what I am saying is that if you have any type of time and or opportunity to get into a car prior to when the snow flies to sort of prepare yourself, your kids, your mom and or dad, do so at a parking lot fresh with snow as early as possible.

See from the Pontiac I went to the Van 84 Ford Gearing Conversion Van

One thing that is definitely was besides being very as they ‘decked out with captain’s chairs, led light strip(which is high tech back then) a bench seat that transforms into a bed, okay still rear wheel drive. It was solid on all surfaces, and in the snow, you would have to go out of your way to get the tires to break loose of traction.

86 Escort GT

Sadly never saw a winter with me behind the wheel because it was totaled, that was the whole thing about not yielding on left hand turn and almost losing an appendage etc.

Then onto the 85 Mustang GT

Well, ahh the thing that would not really go anywhere straight come when the snow flew. Mind you this is not because I wanted to have it sideways, well I did at times, but that was just to make everyone else freak out that was not behind the wheel. Sorry, but when you know the car as much as I had, you might in the past do such things to keep your mind entertained and the like.

I even had an extra set of tires, with an extra set of mags. Even Goodyear itself could not help that car make any more traction than what was scarcely almost present.

On the highway I did happen to find the median at times when I was attempting to overcome a slower vehicle and, this is most important, it was okay to do so.

It took that car and all my roommates to sit on the tail end of it to get it out of the parking spot when I lived on 5th off Forsythe. G-d that car, was desperate and never easy to drive in the winter. I think if I am not mistaken it did have Posi traction as well.

What I Learned and Never Forgot to This Day

YOU STEER INTO THE SKID every time and take your foot off the gas and apply brake pressure to what is needed at the time. Understand of course nowadays all the braking systems are very advanced to a point you don’t have to worry about the pulsating brake pedal when you had to go to the antilock braking hard kicking in of the past.

Honda Pilot 2010

I have felt it kick in a time or two. Don’t get me wrong I had many a time when I was driving the Honda Pilot, after my mom visited it was a completely all ice the whole time. Basically, all the way to Toledo from Columbus, I was kind of ice skating, I was very aware of the car being loose all the way there. You get to a point where you understand what ice is and what is road and your dilly dally with delicate precipice that and kind of get an, do I attempt to say “comfort but not crash prone zone.”

All I remember is being completely hands on the wheel the whole time as well as what my mom said when we got home. Just when I was pulling onto the main drag from the house that I grew up, she wakes up and says, “That was not so hard.”

Little did she know the whole time I was sphincter pinched as well as gripping the steering wheel for all that I had………………

After driving back that night, I just sat there, in the parking lot of where I lived and just was so happy not to be on the road. Coming home it is more a tap dance on broken shards of glass than I have ever encountered.

Prior to That 95 Honda Prelude

Now this car was very interesting in that it was front wheel drive and I have never had a car that was so I ending up paying the price

I never forget I, in a sheer state of “Kevinness”as I shall called it, gunned it coming off the main road from where I was working and I thought I would just drift the corner, you know slide….lesson soon to be taught in 1, 2 seconds and then I ran up the curb that was the corner I was attempting to Tokyo Drift as you could say.

But with front drive it did not work as it works in rear wheel driver as the adage say, “F around and Find Out.” I had to come clean when I was attempting to explain it to the mechanics and my dad right there. There were a couple of ef Bombs by Harvey. Prior to this fact, my dad thought that it was routine maintenance, then this nugget dropped, it was all mine.

Anywhoo, with the civic that I have now, the tires will correct each other to any loss of traction. I did attempt to mess around with the Prelude, and I had, and it ended up at the

Damage From Kevinness Shennanighan

1) $2300

Replaced the Following

a. New front tie rod

b. lower control arm

c. Uppers control arm

c. Wheel hub and of course Wheel Bearings

d. Possible front Left Strut as well

e. Front Strut Assembly that was for the strut to be placed in or something.

Took my cool right out of me to say the least.

I had to go back to Driving the Honda Accord that was my parents. They never let me forget that as I can best recall.

But I did get it fixed and I of course had to pay for it.

Honda Ridgeline 2010

The Honda Ridgeline so phenomenal in the snow, that it made you want to see how far it could do as fate had tempted me so much I went into the parking lot of the dog park for like 20 minutes and had that truck completely swinging this way and that, and I was having a freakin’ ball………….little did I know my exhilaration would turn to perspiration on the way to pick up the time, my soon to be bride, ex-wife and all of that,

Future Ex-wife “What was that, Kevin?”

There was a very strange noise as if something in the driveline was way amiss. As she realized this, she asked why is it doing that and

I played coy and said “I don’t know I was just…..”

“Really Kevin, you broke something on this, and this was when we were doing all the future of us or starting too.

1) You lease this car, Kevin!

2) You don’t own it!

3) WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!

I was like “Just relax, I am sure it is nothing, hopefully."

In my now I guess you could say a Mr. Bean like facial expression. 

Little did I know what would be almost everyday in the very near future, but I digress lol what do they say about hindsight lol

I responded back um yeah, I know, then I got that feeling you get in your pit of your stomach you know the one, where you might have really put yourself up the creek with no oars in sight to right it.

Well, it was just that the drive shaft had so much snow and ice after me messing around that it had to be blowtorched off. I laughed like a little girl with such glee when they told me that, except that my soon to be bride, ex, and all of that did not find any of it funny.

But, that truck, even when we had the snowstorm of the century, coincidentally the night of my marriage, talks about an omen lol. But it was that weekend that it occurred. The day of and during it did not miss a beat. I think it was like 21 inches of snow or something like that.

I can still remember my now ex brother-in-law threatening me because I was lucky enough to drive them to the event. It was really, really, icy bad out and you pulled out on the 315 north and I got out and started taking video of absolutely nobody on the road.

Anywhoo, did mention that the greyhound bus that my now ex father-in-law rented for people to go to the event, Franklin Park Conservatory got stuck in the run up to the Hotel. (This was done as worst-case scenario because it was level 5 or something that like that snow emergency when it came down to it.) Till this day I have never eaten so many lobster and baked potatoes from Cameron Mitchell that catered it. This was prior to becoming allergic to shellfish of course I am now)

Okay, what was I saying. Oh, that is right, please be careful when the snow flies, because so many do not know how to drive learning not knowing how to drive as many of us had in huge tanks that were a lot more hands on as well as active lesson teaching. Sure, they have everything that simulates what makes Virtual Reality, except the hands on feeling of the gravity of the car that they wheel.

Also Don’t Be That Guy or Gal – You Know the One -

Well, I am going to be the cautious observer and hopefully not getting caught up is something that is not my doing and or anyone else’s to be honest. Also, it is never too Late to clean off your windows and as well as check your lights front and back to make sure they are clear as well. 

I know we all have BEEN that person, the one with the cleared spot and driving as fast as possible to get the snow to fly away.

In our mind, faster, warmer, more air goes to the window, and well you can figure out the rest. Folks, I am not going to kid anyone, with the roads, traffic, and the incoming residents, please take your time and make sure you have enough to keep you warm and fed for at least a day.

It might sound like an extreme, but stranger things have happened and have happened. It does not hurt to make sure you have a shovel and or kitty litter as well to help you get out of the situation by yourself.

 I found myself in Rock Falls Illinois, 20 Degrees Below 0 and my face and body on the ground getting the snow out underneath my company car as a Sales Rep the good ole reliable Taurus. It is not a fun thig to do.

Honda Civic One Time, Make That Twice Got Stuck

But also, the only place my Honda Civic got stuck was in the parking lot of the place in Westerville, Ohio. 

No joke, I never got that car stuck anywhere else, I had to use my ice scraper like a shovel, and I think I broke not one but two of the ones I had. I did think it got me stuck twice and not in the same place, I am not that dumb, but maybe I was.

It could have happened that way. Anywhoo, that is all I got for now., just some more mindless dribble with 51 and half year old lol =)